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Surgery Needed!


I’ve spent years wanting to write words that will bring life and encouragement into the lives of others.  I’ve not written for fear of writing the wrong words or being misunderstood.  I’ve lived a life of disobedience.  I’ve used other “good things” to procrastinate and justify myself.  I’ve allowed dead works to fill my days and ease my conscience, but…

Last weekend, I read a verse that caused me to pray a prayer that has rocked my world.  It turned me upside down and has shaken me so hard that everything of no value has been exposed.  Just this morning I was given the reminder that I was delivered and called to a life of holiness for God’s purposes and not my own (2 Timothy 1:9).  So, I’m guessing you want to know what Saturday’s verse was.  Here goes…

The verse was Acts 3:26.  So it is to you first that God has sent His servant who He has raised up, so that He might bless you by turning each one of you from your evil ways.  FYI: I am currently reading from the Complete Jewish Bible.
What I heard clearly for the first time...God sent Yeshua (Jesus) so that He (God) might bless us (me…Barbara/you…_______).  How does he want to bless us?  He wants to bless us by turning each one of us from our evil ways.

Well, I definitely want to be blessed and so I immediately wrote the following in my journal. “LORD, I want to turn from all my evils ways…first, I need you to show them to me because I honestly do not recognize them as such apart from You.  Help me to receive what You show me and not be offended by You or get defensive.”

From morning to night, I was shown!  It was not pretty!  My tongue is being used for evil.  Of course, I understand that my tongue is just the instrument…my thoughts are the real problem.  How I view others and myself and God’s purpose for me in the relationship is the root of the problem that is manifest into evil ways.  UGH!  The pain was excruciating.  I was hurt and it took everything in me to curb my desire to defend and not be offended when the first revelation came.  Of course, it didn’t help that the first one came from the love of my life and was a devastating blow to my self-image.  Here I was thinking I was this when I was really that…and let me tell you, that was not what I wanted to be!  Yikes!

Fortunately, as the day progressed and I got other revelations, they were easier to take.  I’m guessing that was for two reasons.  One, I’d already realized what was happening…God was answering my morning request.  Two, as much as I care about the others in my life, none matter more to me than George.  So, although I was broken hearted to see through the LORD’s eyes so many ways my thoughts were not in alignment with His, I was also beginning to be encouraged.  I knew He would not leave me in the sorry state I was seeing myself to be in at the moment.  Side note: Once I started being shown some specifics, those specifics were used to remind me of other relationships and situations that had suffered from the same evil ways in me.  My thought life is severely diseased!

I admit right up front that nothing is new in me except the knowledge of where I need to change.  And I freely admit I do not have the ability to bring that change on my own.  Thankfully, the LORD has been preparing me for this moment and I am ready for the much needed upcoming surgery. 
 
Right now, I’m in the pre-surgery stages.  My blood work is covered (Jesus’ blood has already supplied all the grace I will need).  The surgeon is covered…I’m using the Great Physician.  Brain surgery is serious, but He’s going to do the surgery Himself and I know He will have steady hands and will replace the dead parts of my brain with only the best.  The recovery and rehab I’m not sure about…how quickly I am fully functioning will depend on how well I follow His instructions and the assistance of fellow Believers.

I invite each of you to gather around, pray for me, watch the surgery from the observation area, and surround me during the recovery and rehab.  Pray I won’t reject the new thoughts He’ll be using to replace my old, sin diseased thoughts.  Also, feel free to encourage me any time you feel led.  J

 

Comments

  1. CarlaFriday, March 10, 2017

    Wow I read this first thing this morning was so challenged and inspired. I had no idea that you are blogging. Wonderful ministry. Keep up the great work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Barbara CoulsonSunday, March 12, 2017

    Thank you Carla. I'm so thankful for YOU and who you are in my life. Your quiet and gentle spirit is such a blessing. You are truly a gift from the LORD in my life. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownSaturday, March 18, 2017

    You are such a blessing in this world! Recently, God has been showing ME how ugly MY thought life can be and I wasn't sure how to proceed, now I know. Thank you for sharing! I will be praying for both of us! ❤

    ReplyDelete

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