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First Time

I have decided to try my hand at blogging. This is a new way to journal and I don't know how well I will do since I'm much more comfortable journaling longhand. There's something about pen/pencil and paper in hand that feels good. And the smell and feel of paper statisfies the yearning to write in a way the keypad just doesn't equal.

Jane helped me get started by starting and sending me her own blog site. It was easy to follow the step-by-step directions and here I am writing my first blog entry. Jane is not well today. She had her wisdom teeth removed on Friday and she had to go back to the oral surgeon today due to dry socket and infection. My heart was broken because I could not be there with her.

I struggled after Bible study this morning. One of the ladies was questioning the patriarchial blessings and even questioning how they were able to give the blessings when they were sinful men. I don't believe we can question who God uses to bring His blessing into our lives. I also believe that His faithfulness to the patriarchs even in their times of unfaithfulness is a picture of hope for me...I do not deserve to be used by Him to bring blessing to others but thank Him for using me to do just that in spite of my personal failures. To me, this just points all the more toward how mighty He is and how great His compassion. Anyway, this really was a sad thing for me to encounter at Bible study...it was our leader who was bringing all these questions to the group. It seemed to me that she couldn't understand how God would use these men to prophesy His blessings because she sees their sin as bigger than God's sovereignty.

I just have to say one more thing. The Bible is not written about men. It's written about God and His great love for mankind...we see Him clearly as we see Him interact with the men and women of Scripture. And since He's the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, I can be sure His character is the same and His desire for relationship is the same and His love is the same whether displayed in blessing or discipline He loves me. He is my God and I am His child...one of His people. He will not reject me...has not rejected me because of my past failures. He will not ever reject me because He loves me. I spent many years believing He was ashamed of me because I was a rebellious daughter. I spent many years believeing He would never use me. Praise God I was wrong. I was believing a lie from my enemy the Accuser. Now I cannot keep quiet about my Savior's awsome love, forgiveness and cleansing. He's shown me He even loves rebellious daughters, and He welcomes them home with open arms and cradles them on His chest while they weep tears of repentance and grief.

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